Saturday, January 7, 2012

DAY 159

God,
   I cry out to you.  The tears are streaming down my face.  I have lost all hope and am in a massive pit of dispair.  I know my life is to do your bidding but I am ready to give up.  How many years must I continue to give up my hopes and my dreams and my life to be a loving care giver for a man with the mind of a 2 year old and the iron will of a 90 year old.? 
  Is two years enough?  Done that.  Is five years enough?  Done that!  Is eight years enough?  Done that!  When will it end?  Or will I be like my friend D****** who served a spouse for 20 years and died still serving?  D****** never got free Is that to be my fate also?
   I know I have to envision my husband as Jesus Christ.  Once I do that then serving him will be a joy and honor because I am truly serving Jesus.  But I have lost that vision, Lord.  Please help me!!  I beg you, Lord.  Help me!
   Amen

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